Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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