Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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