i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
