Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
