She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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