Sry I called you an 8
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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