i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
