i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
