I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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