I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I will pee on everything he values.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
