I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
