Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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