What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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