well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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