I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
