Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
