Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
