hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
