So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
