I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
this boner is exhausting
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
