What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
True but thats because hes a fetus.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
