Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
