My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
