My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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