My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
