he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
two words: eviction party
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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