im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize