...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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