His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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