my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
