You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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