A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
