I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
