Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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