Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
its not stalking. its research.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
PANTIES FOUND
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