let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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