then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
