Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
