so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
