You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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