I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
please come you make the beer taste better
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
