SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I look better un-naked...
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
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