thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
