You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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