Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
