My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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