Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
No subtext here. People are naked.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
