What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
