I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
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don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
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So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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