So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
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Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
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I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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