C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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