Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
