Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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