Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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