I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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