I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
