i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
