Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
