turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
