one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
