Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
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