I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize