no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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