I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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