I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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