I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
