just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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