I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
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I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
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My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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