at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
