we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I need to calm my uterus...
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize