You're completely useless in the revolution.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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