tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
