butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
