Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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