He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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