She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
